


What's Wrong With Sam?

by Jadeycakes99



Series: Autistic Castiel [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Autism, Drug Abuse, F/M, Hospitals, M/M, planes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4724927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadeycakes99/pseuds/Jadeycakes99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam had been acting strange lately. Dean discovers why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Wrong With Sam?

Sam woke up at one in the afternoon approximately forty-five minutes late for his second class and completely missing the first. He nearly rolled over to go back to sleep, when he felt the desperate need to pee. He lay on his back for a few minutes, trying to find a more satisfying reason to get out of bed. He’d all but officially dropped out of school, and he could tell Dean was suspicious of him. Not like Dean hadn’t been spending far too much time at home too. To be fair though, it was his house, and he was enrolling in school. Sam had a bartending gig at night, so he would have to eventually get out of bed. He checked his phone. No texts from Ruby. He sighed and staggered out of bed, shuffling to the bathroom. 

Sam made a mental note to shower later and went to the kitchen to grab some coffee.

“Did you just wake up?” Dean asked, looking up from his laptop. 

“Yeah. Long night,” Sam lied, walking past him to the cabinet for a mug. Yesterday, he’d been in bed by ten after having slept most of the day at Ruby’s place.

“Kids,” Dean scoffed.

“You’re only four years older than me,” Sam reminded him, voice still groggy.

“I could have sworn you were in before that show Cas likes came on,” Dean stated casually, trying to hide his suspicion.

“Are you keeping tabs on me?” Sam asked, trying not to sound annoyed and failing miserably.

“Nope, I just heard the door slam when Cas was getting a snack together. It startled him.” Dean shrugged. “Who else would it have been? I don’t think a thief would’ve slammed the door and stomped into your room.” 

Sam clenched his jaw and turned around to face Dean. He knew this would happen. Dean had been nagging him for weeks. “I went out later.” 

“Friends from school?”

“Yup,” Sam replied shortly, turning around to pour his coffee. He took the mug back to his room, spilling it all over his hand when his phone buzzed.

“Ow! Dammit!” he hissed, setting the coffee on his nightstand.

 _“Come over?”_ the text read. Ruby kept to her own schedule, not that Sam minded. He didn’t do much nowadays. 

_Be there in ten,_ he texted back. Grabbing his wallet and keys, he left the room and walked smack into Dean.

“Sorry,” they said simultaneously.

“Um,” Dean began. “You busy? We haven’t really had a chance to talk—”

“Sorry, I have to get to class,” Sam interrupted. “You know, I’ve got Complex Litigation. Maybe when I get home?” Sam lied.

“Oh! Yeah, sure. Later.” 

Sam forced a smile and nodded before heading to his car.

Sam stifled the pinch of guilt he felt over continuously blow off his classes as he knocked on Ruby’s door. After a moment, Ruby opened the door, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him in. 

“Hi,” she said, already on her tiptoes for a kiss.

“Hi,” he replied, leaning down. 

Ruby leaned over and nipped at his jaw. “Want some?” 

Sam moaned, “Not right now,” as he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her toward her bed.

Sated and smiling, Ruby asked, “How about now?” 

Sam nodded weakly, tugging the sheet up to cover himself as his sweat- cooled skin broke out in goosebumps. Ruby grinned and rolled over to grab a small box from her nightstand. She waved it under his nose teasingly and pulled it away when he reached for it. 

“Ruby,” he whined. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the lighter, purposely moving slowly—teasing him. “Ruby,” he repeated, this time sternly. 

“Fine,” she said pouring the solution into a syringe. She kissed up his arm slowly and tied off a heavy rubber band, making his veins bulge slightly. She kissed him passionately, pressing herself against him, before touching the point of the needle to a vein. “Ready?” 

Sam nodded. She pressed the needle gently into the vein and looked up at him.

“One, two—” She pressed the plunger, pushing the opiate directly into his bloodstream. 

Sam gasped. 

Ruby grinned as she watched the blissful expression on his face. 

Sam let himself fall back into nothingness, just reveling in the rush of euphoria. He didn’t think—didn’t even try to think—about how disappointed Dean would be or how much like his father he was or how he’d be kicked out of Stanford any day now on absenteeism alone. He didn’t think about how sad his mother had been when she found out he had broken up with Jess. 

Everything was fine—more than fine, really. 

Sam pulled Ruby down for a kiss before rolling over and letting the high take him. 

Later, when he sobered up, he checked his phone with a warm and sleeping Ruby tucked into his side. If he hurried, he’d only be five minutes late for his shift. He rolled away from Ruby and quickly pulled his clothes on.

“Where are you going?” she muttered groggily. 

“Work,” he replied shortly. 

“Oh, okay. The next one’s on you,” she said, closing her eyes. “Love you.”

Sam felt a pang of guilt at her mumbled declaration. A headache roared behind his eyes. He’d decided not to come over again, but something kept drawing him in. Ruby was great. She was beautiful and she understood Sam more than anyone—including Jess—ever had. 

He didn’t love her though.

Sam stumbled awkwardly to his car, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, determined to make it to work in one piece and relatively on time.

#

Castiel stood outside the front door of their apartment with his hand just shy of touching the knob. He didn’t like hesitating to go inside after a long day, but if he went inside he’d had to confront something he’d rather avoid; he’d have to see Dean. 

Cas hadn’t said a word to Dean all day and he felt almost guilty. He loved Dean. He knew he did, but it was difficult being okay with Dean’s choice of profession. It would be as if Castiel had announced his desire to switch professions and become a pilot. Dean wouldn’t be happy for him. He wouldn’t enjoy Cas’s stories of flying and the day-to-day struggles of being in the air. Dean couldn’t even watch the movie Airplane without being uncomfortable—just like Cas couldn’t watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. That discovery had been an unpleasant Saturday evening early in their relationship. Dean had decided to have a Jack Nicholson marathon and Cas very quickly realized how bad of an idea that was for his own well being.

Cas squared his shoulders and turned the knob, pushing into the apartment quietly. He went through his “coming home” routine and put away his things and changed into more comfortable at-home clothes all the while waiting to hear Dean’s greeting. 

It never came. 

Perplexed, Cas looked through the apartment only to find that Dean wasn’t there at all. There had been times Dean hadn’t heard him arrive because Dean had been otherwise preoccupied, but Dean should have been home now.

 

Cas let his nails dig at his arm. Dean should be home. Dean should be home. Dean should be home. 

Castiel took his phone out of his pocket with shaky hands. Dean should be—

He had two missed calls and two voicemails from Dean. He’d forgotten that he’d set his phone to Do Not Disturb during a meeting and hadn’t turned it off. Angry with himself for forgetting again, he prepared himself for Dean’s passive aggressive voicemails. This wasn’t the first time it happened and it always bothered Dean that Cas was terrible at answering his phone. Dean didn’t call during his workday often. When he did, it was generally quite important. 

Castiel’s breathing came faster as his agitation and anxiety increased. He’d rehearsed coming home and talking to Dean several times in his head only to find that Dean wasn’t home. Now, he held the phone up to his ear.

“Cas, please call me back. I’m at the hospital. Sam’s here. He looked sick this morning, but he’s—I don’t know. They haven’t really told me much. Please, Cas, I need you. Call Meg. I need to know what’s going on.” Dean hung up abruptly. 

Castiel was shocked. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he listened to the next message. 

“Cas, Sam was in a car crash. I know I called you earlier, but I’m just hoping you’ll get this. Sam’s in surgery and they’re worried about kidney failure, and he’s—” Dean’s voice broke with a sob. “Cas, please. I know we’re kind of fighting, but I need you right now. My parents can’t be here until tomorrow.” His voice broke again into another sob. “Cas, please.” He paused before speaking more quickly. “I think that’s his doctor. Please just come. I love you. Bye.” 

Castiel flapped his hands at his sides anxiously. 

“Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.” He knew he needed to calm down. He needed to drive to the hospital. He was too shaky to drive. A cab. He would call a cab. 

The emergency room was painfully bright, but Cas did his best to ignore it. 

“Dean!” he called out when he saw his husband pacing in the emergency room lobby.

Dean stopped pacing as Cas approached. When Castiel was close enough, he saw how red Dean’s face was. When Dean was upset, he liked to be hugged. Cas opened his arms and Dean stepped forward into them.

“I’m not mad at you for the career you selected. I’ve seen behavioral specialists and psychiatrists and they were awful. They encouraged my mother. I don’t want you to become like them. I don’t want you to treat me like a patient and I don’t want to be a pilot.” 

Dean sniffled. “Can we talk about this later? My brother is being operated on.”

“Of course,” Castiel said, uncertain of what to do. They had never been in this situation before. Dean wrapped his arms around his husband’s neck. 

“The only thing I can do is wait. This sucks.” 

Cas nodded, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. 

“Sam is healthy. He’s young. He goes on runs, so he should have a better chance of making it through the surgery. Do they know what caused the kidney failure?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Okay.” 

They stood there, breathing each other in, for what seemed like hours. Dean nuzzled his face further into Cas, who just kissed his head and hummed quietly. 

“You need to eat,” Cas said finally. 

“No,” Dean growled into Cas’s neck.

“I felt your stomach rumble. You’re hungry.”

“I don’t feel like eating.”

“You won’t be there for Sam when he wakes up if you pass out from low blood sugar,” Cas said after a moment. 

Dean hesitated before agreeing. He let himself be led to the vending machines. “So, what were you saying earlier about being a pilot?” 

Dean selected a bag of chips and Cas fed in a dollar. The bag dropped and Dean wrestled it from the machine. 

Castiel’s humming grew louder as he put his thoughts in order. He then explained to Dean as clearly as he could what he thought of behavioral specialists and how they had treated him. 

Dean frowned. “I don’t want to be that kind of behavioral specialist. I’d never treat you like a patient. You’re my husband. I love you,” Dean said, shifting closer to Castiel, nibbling on a chip. 

When Dean brushed his arm, Cas flinched but then scooted closer, pressing Dean more firmly against his side. 

“I love you too,” Castiel said softly. Being in the hospital was awful for his nerves. There were loud, unpredictable noises, and phones flashing. “I’m going to call Meg. She’s the best.” 

Dean nodded and reluctantly let Cas stand up to go outside.

“Mr. Winchester?” a doctor asked. Dean stood up quickly. 

“Yeah? That’s me. Is Sam okay? Are they done operating on him?” 

“He’s stable now and if he keeps improving, he should be fine. He’ll be a little confused when he wakes up, but that’s just a combination of the concussion and the drugs he’s on.” 

Dean allowed himself to breathe. 

“However,” the doctor began. 

Dean felt his chest tighten again. 

“Due to the number of narcotics we found in his system, we are going to keep him for a few days post-recovery for a psychiatric evaluation.” 

Dean stared blankly for a moment. 

“Sam? He can’t even take cough syrup without getting tipsy,” Dean protested weakly. He’d watched enough Doctor Sexy to know that Sam’s drastic and sudden change in attitude could have meant drugs. It explained everything. He just didn’t want to believe it. Sam had been detached and sleeping all the time. Now that Dean thought about it, Sam had even lost some weight. He wanted to believe that it was just stress from school. He’d tried to talk to Sam about it, but Sam had been very good at avoiding him, all the while acting jumpy and distant.

“I’m sorry.” The doctor patted his shoulder sympathetically before walking away. Cas returned to find Dean sitting in a chair, staring at the floor.

“Meg’s on her way,” Cas said. He stepped closer to Dean’s side, but before he could put his arm around him, Dean stood up and walked outside. Castiel followed him. 

“Dean?” Cas asked, a few paces behind him. He jogged to catch up. “Dean?” 

They walked in silence to the Impala. Castiel stood behind him. 

“Are you going home? Should I come with you?” 

Dean ignored him. He leaned his head against the roof of his car, before punching the door with full force. He left a dent, his fist throbbing. He collapsed against the car door, cradling his injured hand to his chest.

“It’s my dad’s fault,” Dean said. “It’s all his fault.”

Castiel was unsettled. He had never seen his husband like this. He had seen Angry Dean, whenever he watched the news, or when they fought. He had seen Scared Dean when they were going to Kansas for the first time and Dean failed to mention his fear of planes until after Cas purchased the tickets, and , or when he tried octopuscalamari. He had seen Sad Dean, whenever hisDean’s favorite character died, or and when he said goodbye to their old home. He had seen so many different sides of Dean. T, they were married;, Cas thought he had seen every side to his husband. He didn’t know what to call this Dean. He, it was different. Cas He wasn’t sure what to do. YesNo, he did know., Dean’s hand was injured. 

He Cas offered his own hand to Dean. Dean shook his head. 

“Your hand is bleeding.”

“I don’t care.” 

“Your hand is bleeding.” 

“I don’t care, Cas!” Dean said, smacking the car behind him with both fists, and yelping when his injured hand hit the door.

“Your hand is bleeding,” Castiel repeated, not taking his hand away. 

“Christ, Cas, you won’t stop, will you?” 

“Your hand is bleeding,” he said again. Dean grabbed Cas’s hand angrily, using the wrong hand and hissing before switching hands. When he stood up, he threw himself against his husband.

“I don’t know what to do, Cas,” he sobbed, voice muffled by Castiel’s shoulder. 

“Let’s get your hand bandaged.” 

Dean gripped his husband tighter and they stood there for a while.

“Come on. We need to bandage your hand.” 

Dean nodded, and Castiel led him back into the hospital without letting go of his uninjured hand. 

They would get through this.


End file.
